Mine And only mine

Holding onto him didn't seem so hard. But now, well, I don't know anymore. He just seems to... drift. I thought he was so close to being mine, and now, I'm not so sure. I do love him, sincerly. But so does she. Maybe? And I dont know wether I should steal him... or wait? Waiting seems to be the right thing to do... but being so impatient, can I wait that long? No, I doubt it. I'd end up... well I dont know what I'd end up doing. But it wouldnt be good. Why can't I just move on? Because I know I cant have him? Do I wish to spite her? No.. she's my friend. I think. I'm not sure anymore. Am I even sure about anything anymore? Am I sure I love him? Yes, that is the one thing I'm still sure of, or that I became sure of after all that has happened. What I'm not sure of is what to do? Should I go for it, or force myself to move on? Even if I forced myself to move on, would the pain ever cease? The pain of knowing I could have had him, but left too soon? No, the pain would never cease. That's one more thing I'm sure of. If I left now, I would hurt forever. Worse than I do now. I think. See, there I go again, being unsure. But is anyone ever sure of anything anymore? I doubt it. I know I'm not, and neither is anyone I personally know. I've had people tell me to steal him. I've had people tell me it's not right. Who's advice do I take? Ugh. I don't know. Do I even want to know?



No. Yes? Maybe. I just know I want him. If there's anything in the world that I want to remember forever, it would be him. If I had to choose to pick one person to keep in my life, it would be him. I love everyone else, but I LOVE him. So do I do it? Or do I wait? Or, slowly make my move? Stalk my prey. It seems like something I would do with my natural hunting instinct. Is that what it's become? Is love just a game now? Just me, making sure I get my prey, and don't let anything stand in my way? No. Not with him, that was how it used to be, but not now. Now that I found him, things have changed. This is the longest I've waited, and I'm willing to wait as long as it takes. I vow that no one will be before- or after- him. Ever. I can't. If it's not him, its not worth it. I promise you, you may think me foolish to be thinking like this, but never has it been so hard for me, and never have I decided to wait so long. He is mine, even when his heart belongs to her. Still. Somehow, he is- and will forever be- mine.